As a friend of mine is going through a time of serious change, it made me think about my own.
Flashback 33 years ago…….
It was 1981, Reagan was in office, and disco was officially dead at this point. A young lady was adjusting to her new role that she wasn’t prepared for but dreamt of at on point, MOM. It was a cold day in Ohio, and she was in labor.
From this moment on, she knew, it was her and this baby against the world.
That was my mom and I. Against the world. My mom was a marine, as we know, and so was my dad. I use “Dad” loosely, because my definition doesn’t fit him, but he did have a 30 part of giving me life. Guess that makes him dad on some level. It was a weird story, borderline Jerry Springer if you will. Boy meets girl, they date, they do the do, she gets pregnant, boy cheats on girl, and girl is left alone. Boy moves on with other girl, while girl A goes home to start a new life.
In Modern day.
I can count how many times I’ve spoken or seen my dad in my life. If it was a perfect world, I would have loss track of that. This is not a boo-hoo post. Oh no, don’t feel story for me. This happened a lot in my generation. I’m one of many kids in a single parent home. My mom made the best of it. It’s where this blog idea and my creativity came from. My acting chops started with my imagination of how life could be if mom didn’t work so much. Creating characters, and whole new lives for us to live. My mom loved it, still does. My multitasking came from her teachings, and grandparents advice. It’s true, it takes a village to raise a child. I took those lessons of demanding respect, hussling money, having multpile game plans, and working at something you love, not just for money.
“If you do something you love, it’s not a job, it’s a fun hobby you get paid for”.
I live by that motto.
The reason I write this today is one of the most important people in my life is getting older, and I’m just not ready to say goodbye yet. You know it’s part of life, but dammit, you’re still not ready. It’s ironic. My granfather has been involved in my life through every joy, sorrow, mistake, and accomplishment I’ve had, and it’s going to hurt tremendously when I get that call. Then you have my dad, that I know at one point I’ll get the call from my Uncle or Aunt, and I can’t say I’ll feel the same way. I’l be sad he’s gone, but in the sense you hear of a stranger passing away.
It is my drive because of my upbringing that I don’t parent the same way. My ex and I my not have worked out, but I try my best to take the high road as best as I can. We have bigger issues then my parents, but history will not repeat itself. It was one of the reasons I started this blog. To let my single parents know, it’s tuff, but with creativity and time management, you can do this.
My mom did, and I now do it too.
As I sit here and think about my father not being around, he gave me a blessing. I don’t think I would the awesome parent I am now if he didn’t walk away. I wouldn’t have used that empty hole to entertain people. Not saying I have a daddy complex, but saying that I use that pain to prove I’m not some statitic. I was a Latchkey kid with with buried talents that shine through now.
Mom, enterprenuer, actress, writer, and educated kick ass female.
Thank you, for walking away, I wouldn’t have the best people or opportunities I have now if you stuck around. I blessed them with my presence, and continue to do so, and they in turn blessed me with wisdom, and craziness. They aren’t perfect, nor am I. We drive eachother crazy, but the love is there. That, my friends, is true family, dyfunction and all! LOL! I wouldn’t have it any other way.