Why Mother’s Day is different for me………

Happy Mother’s Day to all mommy’s out there!

No matter what stage of it you are at, your always a mommy.

I always took a different approach to how today is. If you guys haven’t seen some of my post, I’m not for the glamour and glitz of the holiday. I love homemade stuff, and the time spent with family. Very low key, because when time has passed, things break, go missing, or you forget why you have it in the first place.

But…….you never forget how Bobby got depants while serving the dessert, and with smartphones, you’ll always have it to remember it by!

This Mother’s Day I look at it differently. Aside from the the awesome gifts I got from my kids, I began to think about how far we’ve come, and my new role in my older kids lives. That I’m still Mom, but from a distance. Today I view this holiday a little different…….

Their are times where I clearly know the decisions I make reflect me being a mom. A young mom. That my kids made me the person that I am today. My mom of course got me through the first 16 years, but it was my kids that shaped me on the quirky person you have in front of you. That they truly let me be myself, no judgments, no opinions, just mom.

Of course their are times where I get the difficult issues and questions from them, that I can’t truly answer. That it makes my job more real, but we work through it all, and makes my title earned. Having my crew makes me look, and think about things differently opposed to if I was just a single female with kids. I also view things differently because I am a single mom.

I remember as a kid, I wanted my kids to have all the designer things, I had plans of being a family therapist before changing to an actress, and the best of everything for kids I may or may not have.

You see how having kids changes you! LOL.

My view of what they need, what is important to them, and what legacy I leave for them became important for them, opposed to the superficial stuff that I didn’t have. That I saw my mom did the best that she could with what she had.

One memory that stuck with me was freshman year of high school. I was part of the orchestra at my school, wasn’t the best, but my mom supported me regardless. Our teacher arranged for a college visit to the Cleveland Institute of Music, one of the best musical colleges in the country. One of our stops was a live orchestra concert. She made this dress for me, that is beautiful. Not my style, but was perfect for the occasion. We showed up dressed for a hollywood event……..and extremely over dressed. My mom goes “own it, who cares what others are thinking”.

We walked into that concert like owned it. As we walked around, people complemented my mom and I, and it was so much fun. Funny how the dress was made from material that cost a bargin, and one of my bras since it was backless. We were enjoying ourselves and had fun. I had a new respect for my mom in the financial regard. That it’s not about how much you have, it’s about how you carried yourself. It’s about the bond you share, and what your kids take from it. It’s about the sacrifice your mom will do for you. My mom still has that dress in her closet. That was almost 20 years ago. Geez….

That’s what I want my kids to learn. The work, fun, lessons, and memories. I, in turn, oddly enough take the same way from them. One thing they don’t tell you leaving the hospital, is you still learn as a mommy, even after they leave the house. The finances, views, lessons, and patience to be a leader of your platoon. Yes, I see myself as the general of this platoon, and if you cross me military warfare shall happen.

So no matter where you are in life, even if you are in a bad spot, Don’t let the holiday become what this crazy ass commericals want it to be. Let the memories of the simplicity and goofiness that is motherhood. If you have lost your mother or motherly figure in your life, remember the times with her. It’s what counts more than anything in the the world. If you are part of a club no one wants to be part of, remember, once a mom always a mom. That never will change. In every scenario it’s the memories and legacy you’ve passed on or that has been given to you. That’s the true spirit of the holiday.

Yesterday, though I was in a lot of pain, Wise One came and hung out with me, watching Law and Order with me. It’s the small stuff with us. I hope to pass on to her my passion of standing up for yourself. That being you isn’t a crime, nor should you be judged for it. I like to think she gets that, and will be an awesome mom or aunt one day.

Hyperdiva made me breakfast, and we hung out and talked about all kinds of stuff. I hope she takes the lesson to appreciate people and not take advantage of people who are nice. That it’s a nice thing to be selfless.

Super Samurai is so nice. Everytime I make his food, and do anything for him, he says “thank you mom for helping me/making my food, it was really good”. I hope he takes away that people actually do appreciate those two words, and can make someone’s day in an instant.

I take away from them that they made me the passionate person that I am today. That their are things I fight for or risk for them that I wouldn’t have thought twice about. That my mom gave me the basics but they gave me the details, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I’m going into my kitchen to experiment some more, and have my crew try it out because I can!

Enjoy yours!

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~CSM~

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