2015: The year of lessons

I’m closing out this year on a good but weird note.

Right at this very moment, I got advice from a loved one on something that’s very important to me about something, and the more I sit on it, the more I feel like it’s not the right advice to take.

I learned three important lessons this year, and I take time out every year to reflect on what I learned.

First, life is too short. Go with your gut on decisions, because it’s rarely ever wrong.

Second, home life isn’t always what you paint it. We have the face we put on for others, and then the real face at home.

Third, everyone has an agenda. Could be positive, or negative, but everyone has one.

I try to teach my kids to be selfless, not selfish. I also try to teach them not to judge. I’m facing that now. To just listen. To listen before saying anything. To listen and say nothing at all. Sometimes, it’s listening is when you find the truth. Of course you can learn the truth by asking questions, but a lot of times, it’s truly listening is when you find out truths and intentions.

I’m also embracing the new old people in my life. For what ever reason they here, they’re back. Some, I see my not be ‘there’ like I hoped, and have intentions. Doesn’t mean I’ll cut them off, just means they aren’t that high on the totem pole. Some are on the ‘why in the hell did I cut you off in the first place?’ category, and remain to be seen. Then you have that category. The one where it’s called ‘I was being really bitchy and I’m sorry’.

I guess the troublesome issue I’m having is the second lesson. That’s a huge issue for me. That every important person in my life has made themselves like they are to be on a pedestol. I’m not judging by any means. What I am doing is trying not to be angry for trying to live my life, and getting the comments, or looks, when no one is perfect. Its something I raised my kids on.

“Mommy is not perfect. I expect you to mess up, because even as an adult I will too. It’s what you do after is the key”.

I never got that at all. To this day, it’s still ‘yeah I messed up, but you do as I say, not as I do’ towards me. Well, last time I checked, Im 34 with 3 kids. I don’t promote my kids to fail, I just let them know it may happen, and to carefully figure out the next move when it does.

Going into 2016, I think I may be more careful in who I communicate with. Like I said, it’s not cutting them off, but being treated like I’m a teenager, when I’m an adult is getting old real quick.

It stems up to, I’ve lived to everyone else expectations, and heading into the new year being a mom to older kids/adults, it’s time I lived for my kids and myself. Can’t respect theat, you know where you can go.

Thanks for you guys! You guys have never changed, left, or become a pain in my ass! Of course I’m back toΒ the drawing board again learning to take it easy, but still have goals. So let’s do this. Bring 2016 in with a bang, and taking over new adventures! You know I will…..

~CSM~

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