My Name.

I have built quite the following on facebook, here, and now in my community. Some see me as just my name. A unique name, and I always have to explain it, but assume I’m married because of the two last names. I had three at one point but that was a long time ago. I own my two. My maiden names. My family names.

I actually wanted to drop one due to my father. Our relationship is weird. Rocky but cordial. We are at this weird place where we are building but it’s still tense since his tact button is broken and his old views tend to come out a lot more than they should.

Ultimately, I chose to keep my name from his side. Not because it’s his, but because of my grandfather. The same reason I have my mom’s last name.

These names represent me in the sense of what great genes, and lessons I got from these men. I’ve heard some of the horror stories, and things that they did before me. The weird thing is, by the time I came along, they were different men. They were older, wiser, softer with authority. Since I was the first grandchild of both, it was made clear, I was to pass these lessons not only to my kids but younger cousins.

As I get older, and move into the new chapter of motherhood, these talks, memories, and “ah-ha” moments have kicked in full force. In some ways, I’m an awesome mom. I had a lot of people who helped me get to the point where we are, family and non family, but I also watched and learned from mistakes.

On the other hand, as an oldest grandchild, I’ve been slacking and I hope to change that. Not only for my sake, but my kids, and my cousins kids. It dawned on me as we continue to do family trees, and how difficult it is to know your history, if you don’t share, or just keep in touch. Both taught me that. Especially in the minority communities, not everything is written down, and keeping in touch is the next best thing.

Anywho, despite the strained relationship we have, I wear my last names proudly. I hope my kids wear theirs proudly too, despite their father. Even though a parent might be a jackass, the whole family may not be. They may have honor and teachings that shape you. A blood line of history that made you who you are.

I guess it saddens me that my kids will never know their Dad’s side due to stereotypes. He was damned from the beginning since he was mixed, and then marrying me, and having our kids made things worse. I don’t punish every Mormon I come across, but it still hurts knowing that they’ll never be accepted since they are half black. They may not have my last names, but I hope the wear their names proudly as we come upon them growing up to become adults.

As Wise One crosses the stage, I hope her great grandfathers look on with pride like I do. That their humble beginnings and making these families produced her. Their beliefs, lessons, humor, and honesty gave her the power she has now as she embarks on college life this fall.

I also hope they look on me as  I begin my journey of dreams and goals. That their talks and constant hard work shaped me into who I am today. Of course I don’t take away from my grandmothers and my mom, they all had a hand in raising me, but for some reason, that random talks with these men were lessons without me knowing it.

Slick ones they were.

As I work on things today, I grin at my crazy schedule, and Jill of all trades approach. In those two names, it’s one of many thing it has in common with each other. Humility, be grateful, hard working, being creative, and stretching a dollar to name a few others.

To daily success. You two men had a hand in mine.

~CSM~

My secret……

I finally have a minute to talk to you guys. I had Hyperdiva’s Bday party last night, which that will be a different post.

These secrets are kinda well know on my personal page, but I want to add them here.

I have actively begin to pursue my acting career. Singing up with Central Casting here in LA. Now for those of you who don’t know, it’s a casting agency that’s used for extras here in the Hollywood area. I used them a lot before I left California, but decided to go for it again.

I was also concerned because my eyelid never healed correctly from the cornea transplant. I’ll be honest, I really came close to giving up my dream career because looks are everything in the business. No matter how talented you may be, looks do play a role in advancement.

But I missed it. A lot. Each day that passed, I wanted my career. I think the moment it really hit home was the crew are almost adults now. I don’t have to worry about them as much, and they have their lives. I should have mine.

Here we are. I signed up, and will call daily to see about work and all I can say is watch for me on TV!

The second one, which I think I mentioned on here, is that I became an uber driver. Yeah…I have a love/hate relationship with this job. It lets me see parts of Southern California I would have never thought about, but it’s a true hustle to work for. One point I can say, is please, if you have a ride that’s 10 bucks or under…….tip your driver. We get what is left after fees, which can be 6-7 bucks. Not a lot.

I will be writing on both on here, because I’d had some really funny, weird, outrageous, and everything in between experiences with Uber.

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. I’m hoping to figure out to video option on this blasted blog. I’m really digging the video option for blogs. Keep a look out for that.

~CSM~

Getting the Raw Me.

I’ve been so lost as of yet. Not for last night’s results, which that was a clusterfuck of an election.

I’ll be real with you guys. I love you guys, more than you know. You guys gave me another creative outlet to be me, share, and laugh as we tackle parenthood.

At times, I feel held back because I play the fine line of losing my peeps. I want to share my thoughts, discussions, and conversation. Understand different views, but also have my views understood.

I feel it’s a responsibility of mine to make these conversations happen. I’m a blogger, and I like to think I would want to use my blogging for positive things. Not spew anything that’s hateful or untrue. This is where the line gets weird.

Politics and Religion are two main ‘no nos’ as a person in the hospitality sector. I say fuck that noise. One driving point of having a restaurant is bring people together. They eat, conversate, and listen. Truly listen. Enjoy people’s company.

After the debacle of the election, one thing I notice, on both sides, is no one is truly listening. They listen to argue. Their is a difference to listen to understand, and listen to wait your turn you implode your point. We are missing that skill. I found it within my own family this trait, and it needs to end if we want to co-exist.

This isn’t about politics, though if you ask me, the electoral college needs to go like yesterday. It’s about that do we do now to combat the hate, ignorance, and lies. Peeps, it broke my heart to hear Super Samurai tell me “he doesn’t like people like me”. Wise one is scared for him, and frankly so am I, but as I tell my crew, we channel anger and fear into positive results.

Things need to change. They are way over due. To challenge the establishment, and to give facts, not opinions. I respect to disagree in politics, but the hate has got to go. I challenge you my peeps, have the awkward conversations and truly listen.

“When you listen, people tend to tell on themselves”. I’ve seen it on both sides, and instead of being hateful, I educate. To the point of quoting books and direct sources. It’s hard to argue facts. Opinions can be argued for days, but facts are facts. Lets talk!

Hit up the Wayment conversation on the FB page. I really want to hear both sides and soultions, because I’m not happy leaving this world to my crew and your children with this much bullshit. Let’s fix this.

Love and Peace

~CSM

Quit blaming everyone else. Look at home.

Three posts today, but this one had to be first.

I saw a post on my personal fb what the problem with millenials are. I think we should fully discuss this concept.

Yes, I’m going there today.

Now, reading the age range of millennials being 1980 to 1996-2000(roughly), I call bullshit on this first. You are telling me my teenagers and I are in the same group of people? My grandparents and parents weren’t in the same group, and they were two different generations, and they had kids young too.

Fine, I’ll take it.

The first point I want to make it that, millennials are lazy and entitled. If you go back and read the last paragraph I wrote, this generation was born in the peak of greed, wall street peaking, and keeping up with the Joneses was at its peak. It was taught to be the best you had to show it, even if it meant debt.

Tell me why we are surprised as a society that this new generation is stuck on being flashy and getting material bullshit at any cost?

We are also the generation that is charged out the a** for college. At one point, college could be paid for by just having a part-time job. Those days are long gone. Work study and part time jobs mean nothing. Mom and Dad having a saving account for school means nothing. You are more likely to borrow money to attend college to some degree. I have friends who finished college, and it cost 60,000 to attend. Just for a bachelor’s degree. Don’t add-on if you want a master’s degree, or if you are pre-med or pre law.

We wonder why people rather get a job than go to college. Rather have the pay raise then to pay off a huge debt like that.

I think the biggest insult is that we are lazy. Um…..don’t think so. I think it’s the company you keep. I know a lot of people my age who give as much as they work into causes and their careers. We are lazy, but there is a surge of women having kids later in life, because they want to work to establish themselves first before having a family. Huge lie that’s peddled. I also know a lot of us who work, and are tired of being paid crap wages to do so.

Take bartending for a profession. In most of the country they are paid 2.13/hr plus tips. Now if it’s a slow night or all kinds of variables add in, some people get only 2.13/hr. You wonder why we are taking action for a pay raise. We were taught part of the american dream is if you do the work, you can take care of yourself, and reward yourself.

Not really the case anymore. I think the scary part to it is, even with a degree, you still are broke. Not just bartenders, one huge lie is people wh work at McDonald’s are asking for raises, and these are just teens. No. The average age of service workers are 32. My age. They have families. Some even went to school, and are stuck with service jobs. Think about that. Anytime you go somewhere, and you request a service, that isn’t government related, are asking for a raise, and frankly, I think they deserve it. That’s child care workers, EMTs, janitors, fast food, CNAs, Caregivers to the disabled/elderly, maids, you name it. Think about it, even though the ambulance is charging 1000 for the ride and service, how much do the actual workers get paid? Not much. Lets not get started on the military and what they pay to their soldiers, not officers…….

Truth is, it’s depends on who raises you, which is a point I don’t think is addressed too often. If Mom and Dad gave you everything, then yes, you come into the world being a lazy ass thinking you deserve to have everything handed to you. If you came into the world to a single parent, you see the world differently. If you had shitty values as a kid, you just may be a shitty person. If your parents were humbled people, you definitely see the world differently as well.

I was blessed enough to have people around me who stressed material crap is nothing on this earth. You can’t take it with you when you die. It loses value the minute you buy it, and unless it has sentimental value to it, it doesn’t matter. It’s about what you do in life that matters. Who you surround yourself with,how you treated others, and task you perform is what is remembered.

I stress this to the next generation of kids in my house, and my troop. If you we really want to know who created the “Lazy, entitled” generation older people speak of, look to the past. New generations are a reflection of the generation before us. Baby Boomers created Gen X. Gen X created Milennials. Milennials created the ‘pioneers'(don’t ask, I didn’t make this up). My grandparents took a lifetime to get where they were at their peak. Hard work, multiple skills, and being humble. My mom did the same thing. She also embraced my creative streak, and still continues to do so. She did also went into debt falling into that stupid debt trap of being flashy. It was then we saw effects of it all, and she sat us down and told us “never fall into the trap of being someone else. You be you. If someone can’t deal with that, cut them off”. Bankruptcy is never a fun process. It’s very humbling, and will teach you a hard lesson.

One huge problem I have which goes deeper is grouping people. I’m technically a millennial. I came from a single parent home, and had everything stacked against me statistically. I also had the best tribe of adults raising me too. They embraced my creativity, even when schools cut the arts. They taught me from a young age to understand politics, and respect both sides. To vote my conscience not the lesser of the evils. To be respectful of others, unless it’s not returned. To defend myself, and those who can’t. To give back to those in need any way you can. To be humbled and nice. To carry yourself with dignity and respect. To not knock hand me downs, or cheaper versions of things. To be educated inside and outside the classroom, and work hard for it. Education and hard work isn’t something can be taken away from you. To not see color, but realize others do, and you have to prove them wrong every chance you get. Being a female wasn’t a crutch, it’s was and always be a beautiful blessing. Lastly, your brain is a muscle, always use it, and exercise it.

With all that said, I’m not a millennial. I’m not anything but me. I denounce the stereotypes that come with that label, and every other label I’m grouped in. The faster we stop this grouping bullshit, and see the person for who they are, this place will be a better place for the next generation to takeover.

You just have two groups of people: Nice people or assholes, simple as that.

I feel that most people who have the opinions of millennial base those off of news reports and what they hear. Riddle me this, have you got back into your community, or even talked to a group of people in their 20s or 30s like myself(34)? I’ve been told I’m a rarity. I’ve been told I’m snobby and a nut job for expecting too much, and holding on to good values that maybe be dated.

“Your children are a reflection of what you show and teach them”. In my case, my people expected the best, because they gave the best. They were innovators. They challenged the establishment. They hated injustice in every form.

In closing, you want to know why millennial are “the way they are”, begin at home. Began with who you keep company with. You are only a reflection of who you keep company with and the values instilled in you.

I vowed as a young mom, my kids would have the hard work, hustle, always a brighter side, fight for the small man, know your shit, and be the best you can be lessons that my military family showed me.

It’s time to start asking ourselves, who is to blame fo the stereotype or fact(depending on who you talk to), and how we change it. If we don’t, we will have round two of worse.

“Fix your backyard first before you criticize someone else’s” – Oliver Adams Jr. Product of the depression of the 40s, civil right movement of the 60s, Air force Sargent, Truck driver, carpenter, mechanic, father to three, grandfather of 3, great-grandfather of 4, from Savannah, Georgia, and great teacher.

~CSM~

Questioning my logic.

I was supposed to be writing on margaritas, and planning my first tupperware party, but getting the news I just got, I have to write on this first.

As you guys know, I wear a ton of hats, of which one is girl scout troop leader. I originally signed on because Hyperdiva was in the scouts in Illinois, and she loves it. Working with others to empower girls. Giving back to her community, and learning how to run her business.

I can get behind that. Here in California, in the area I’m in, their are wait list. You read that right, wait list. Girls who have waited since kindergarten to be a scout. I explained that to the parents that it takes work at this age, but we are also having fun.

Parents begged and pleaded for me to start this troop. I put about 20 hous a week into the troop, and at times my own money into the troop. We’ve lost one leader, and four girls.

Why?

Because they couldn’t commit to the work after realizing it wasn’t a hang out session, or not do the work in their roles. We now have a better co-leader, and some girls left, but it pisses me off that parents begged, but didn’t follow through. That is what really pisses me off.

It showing these girls that it’s ok to sign up for something, then quit when it gets tuff. I taught Hyperdiva “you don’t sign up for something if you aren’t going to give it your all”. She also has a two choice limit on activites for these reasons. She does her work, and really excited volunteering to help the retired veterans.

These parents knew of the work. They didn’t keep up with these girls, and when I pressed the issue to see what was going on, they “didn’t have the time to continue”. Let’s not mention the click-ish crap I had to bust up. We are a sisterhood, and included everyone, and don’t use others.

It’s almost like I’m another parent. I didn’t sign up for that bullshit. I signed up to guide girls in becoming awesome powerful women. To give back, and yet I feel like they don’t to try, and can give a damn of the other girls who do. Now, we have projects that didn’t get completed because they had task that they didn’t do. Such a waste.

I was real close to quitting, but then the girls who are left, and leaders would feel abandoned. Nope, I can’t do it and feel ok with that. My mom didn’t raise a quitter, and I’m not raising any either. The girls who are left will have me in their corner. Tonight, we will issue in a new era of our troop. Earlier, I turned in flyers to expand our troop, because most don’t know who to call or reach out to if they were interested. I was thinking of even seeing about our troop wanting to do a robotics team. Just because we ar girls doesn’t mean we can’t build machines.

My mom was a marine. “Can’t isn’t in our vocabulary”. If nothing else, that’s our troops motto, and that’s what these girls will take from this experience.

Thanks for listening. Remember, your kids need to know hard work, and giving back.

~CSM~

Bar Lab 101: Adult Girl Scout Cookies!

Well I’m back, and finally done with all these surgeries! Which means getting back to normal.

I tried to do this project the last two weekends, but everything and their mama prevented me from getting done.
Not tonight!

We are back in this lab mixing, tasting, and celebrating!

This weekend, I finally figured out my girl scout recipes, and posting them on here. I have these four as cocktails, three for tomorrow to bake, and one to sumbit in a contest. Tonight we are focusing on the cocktails. These are the last of the book entries, so definitely start looking out for that.

First up we have the ‘Sweet Girl’.

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Made with shortbread/trefoils, it’s a throwback to the SAHM in the 50s that snuck liquor into tupperware parties. Made with strawberry ice cream, and fruit, no one will ever tell you were drinking unless you say something!

Next, we have ‘Peace Offering’.

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This one is made with thanks a lots. It’s like a Keebler elf fudge striped cookie but no stripes on the top. Each cookie has ‘thank you written on the top of the cookie in different languages. It gave me the idea to make a drink in the thought of ‘hey, I messed up. Here’s an olive branch. Sorry?’.

Our third one is called ‘Sock Hop’.

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It’s loosely based off of the white russian. It’s pretty good, and it reminded me of back when everyone was paranoid of communism taking over during the 50s. History tends to repeat ifself when you don’t learn the first time……LOL.

Lastly, is the ‘California Poodle’.

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This one is loosely based off of the Colorado Bulldog. I always wanted to try it, but wanted to make it my own way. Made with caramel delights/samoas, I made this and the peace offering for my brother and his friends to get feedback. After changing some things I think it’s ready to share with everyone else!

Now that girls scout season is over, and surgery is done, we can get back to normal! Come back next weekend for Bar Lab 101. We shall cover some St. Patrick Day favorites and orginials with our guest star, Jameson!

~CSM~

Valentine’s Day: Why it’s just Sunday

To those who celebrate Valentine’s Day, have an awesome day.

For me, I don’t. I made post to help those who do, ideas to make if you did, and I stand by those ideas, because they could be made for any reason really. I also know as a business person, Valentine’s Day generates money.

If you are a history nerd like I am, then you would understand why I don’t celebrate the holiday. When I was a kid, it was because at one point we were Jehovah Witnesses, and it’s against the rules to celebrate any holiday. I sat in hallways many of times during parties, and missed out on a lot of things those couple of years.

It didn’t distain me from the holiday. It wasn’t until I got into college and began to take history classes, and had to research subjects for papers, it was then I realized, most holidays started off celerating things I’m not comfy with. They then morphed into “big business-corporation” boosters.

Again, I’m not here to stop the party, or be a buzzkill. I’m here to let you know why you don’t see a Valentine’s Day post, or me being lovey dovey.

Removing the commercial reasons why I don’t celebrate, it’s goes to a deeper level. I’m a simple, need the memory, chilled out kind of woman. Though I love to travel, and one goal is to get out the US to see the world, it’s a long term career/life goal.

I’m not saying I don’t love gifts, nights out, or anything like with a special person, but a person should wait until three major hoidays to let me know they love me(anniversary, birthday, valentines). It should be on the brain everyday, just like it is for me. It’s the small things. Turn your phone/tablet off and lets have a netflix binge. Lets get a meal and cook together. An unplanned date. A mini vacation for a weekend to a small town, or staycation in!

Sometimes, it’s the smallest of things, like the mid day phone call or text out of nowhere. Surprising me at home just to say ‘hey’.

Since my grandfather passing, and getting older, I have begin to see things differently. That life is about those small stolen moments. Those are the things you remember. It’s too short to wait until holidays to celebrate it. In other words, I don’t wait until today to celebrate love, celebrate it everyday. I teach my kids to make time for it. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so you must enjoy everyday you have here.

Like I said in the beginning, to those who celebrate Valentine’s Day, have an awesome day. I don’t because no one realizes they may be celebrating the death of St Valentine, that one maybe celebrating a holiday of the Feast of Lupercalia, wihch was a Roman Holiday celebrating the god of agriculture. It was to strike to females of the village with blood soaken sacrifices of goats or dogs to promote or celebrate fertility and cleanse the village. Then in simple terms, it’s a hoiday celebrating more money in big corporations pockets, and if I really want to go out and buy something for someone special, I’d go to a small business to do so.

Instead, I make them feel wanted everyday. Add on, we know, I’m very much in a relationship, so this is not haterade, it’s just a thought.

~CSM~